A friend once said to me "Why put off happiness?" I thought about those words a lot over the years and I realized I don't know why people put off happiness, but recently I was at a family event that was long long overdue and it got me thinking. Perhaps some of us put off happiness because we are scared to be happy. Don't get me wrong I cannot imagine someone disliking the feeling of happiness, however if we are happy then we can be made sad. If that is true and I think it is, perhaps moments of great joy are put off because from the highs of great joy can come the the depths of great sorrow. Its a theory anyway.
It is also possible that as people we feel we are not ready to be happy, we need more $ in the bank, we need a better job, car, house or apartment. Although it is true that we do need to be in decent place in our lives to be happy, I am not sure we can afford wait for everything to be perfect. In my experience it is the imperfect moment that comes along that allows us to be really happy. The moments without detailed planning and expectations far exceed those moments we plan that are so susceptible to disappointment and intrusion.
In my own life the first time I asked my wife to marry me was the real one, there was no ring, no well thought out moment just my heart overflowing scaring the crap out of both of us. It was real, spontaneous and filled with great joy and laughter. Yes there was a second more formal ring ceremony still momentous but it could never live up to the expectations I placed on it. So although both were beautiful moments the one with real joy was the first one.
In watching the events unfold at the family event, I saw real love and joy and without the celebration it still existed but the opportunity to express it was delayed a long time and I was left wondering if any of the happiness that came from that special day was lost due to the delay. I will never know the answer but in seeing their happiness with each moment they spent together and with family and friends I was reminded that the time to experience your happiness is now.
Do you delay happiness and why?