What is this guy talking about?

The Heuman Condition is my view of the actions of the day, the people who initiate them and my insights into what I think is really going on in the human world. Right or wrong I always have an opinion and this is my way of making it heard. Even though you are wrong I value your opinions too.

Wednesday, 28 September 2011

Why put off happiness?

A friend once said to me "Why put off happiness?" I thought about those words a lot over the years and I realized I don't know why people put off happiness, but recently I was at a family event that was long long overdue and it got me thinking. Perhaps some of us put off happiness because we are scared to be happy. Don't get me wrong I cannot imagine someone disliking the feeling of happiness, however if we are happy then we can be made sad. If that is true and I think it is, perhaps moments of great joy are put off because from the highs of great joy can come the the depths of great sorrow. Its a theory anyway.

It is also possible that as people we feel we are not ready to be happy, we need more $ in the bank, we need a better job, car, house or apartment. Although it is true that we do need to be in decent place in our lives to be happy, I am not sure we can afford wait for everything to be perfect. In my experience it is the imperfect moment that comes along that allows us to be really happy. The moments without detailed planning and expectations far exceed those moments we plan that are so susceptible to disappointment and intrusion.

In my own life the first time I asked my wife to marry me was the real one, there was no ring, no well thought out moment just my heart overflowing scaring the crap out of both of us. It was real, spontaneous and filled with great joy and laughter. Yes there was a second more formal ring ceremony still momentous but it could never live up to the expectations I placed on it. So although both were beautiful moments the one with real joy was the first one.

In watching the events unfold at the family event, I saw real love and joy and without the celebration it still existed but the opportunity to express it was delayed a long time and I was left wondering if any of the happiness that came from that special day was lost due to the delay. I will never know the answer but in seeing their happiness with each moment they spent together and with family and friends I was reminded that the time to experience your happiness is now.

Do you delay happiness and why?

Lasting impressions

If you follow me you will know that humans are my favorite topic. The things we do, how we interact, the things we say both brilliant and not so brilliant fascinate me. I love crowds so I can people watch, when I watch TV it is the character interactions that keep me interested.

So today I want to talk about lasting impressions. I am not a person who under normal circumstances is taken aback by a single person. Don't get me wrong and unfollow me I appreciate every single person I have met in my life in varying degrees. Some have taught me what to do and be like, some have taught me what not to to do and be like but every single person I have met has had an affect on who I am. So thank you all. Knowing who might read this you should assume that you have had a positive impact.

There are people in my life that have a huge impact on me daily, my wife Sue, my step sons, and my family. I do not want to diminish any of them but today's writing is about a single individual. She is smart, completely engaging, she is a connector and shares herself completley with her friends, family and community. Her enthusiasm is infectious to all around her. She has only been in my life for a little over a year, but she made a lasting impression. So why do I write now you ask? because she has left town. This may seem trivial in this day and age of digital communication at break neck speed but for me, this is not trivial at all. I have been hugely affected since she left and although I would wish her nothing but a world full of success and happiness I cannot lessen this sense of loss.

I have asked myself, why her? why now? you will communicate, you will see her again so what is different with her. Its not like you spent years knowing each other, she wasn't your best friend. These thing puzzle me because I am not one to latch on to people. I enjoy them when I am around them then move on, enjoygin their company again when I can.

I have decided it is her lasting impression, I was comforted hearing her voice, following her exploits, know that she was around. I celebrated her success and without talking much about it felt terrible when she was stressed. It is because she is the person who can leave a lasting impression on anyone whether she has known them for years or minutes. Despite this feeling of loss I realized that having people like this in my life is actually a gift, one I should appreciate more at the time.

The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart. ~Elisabeth Foley